November 7th, 2013…

Caitlin, 17, female, United States

At lunch one day of my senior year, my friend was explaining the drama of some boy. She mentioned a girl was asexual and how she didn’t want to date because she didn’t like people. Now I’m one of those people who will wait until they get home to google something rather than look dumb in front of a friend.

So that night I googled asexual. The first website that came up was AVEN. After reading explanations, FAQs, and reading all I thought would help me understand, I couldn’t believe it. The concept of asexuality was so different, but so comforting.

I spent every night for the rest of the week reading and rereading the website, wanting to make sure if this was who I was. Then, on November 7th, 2013, I put all the pieces together. I am asexual. That moment, the moment of finally understanding why I was so different and knowing there was so many more who felt the same was I did, was one of the happiest moments I can remember.

I was nervous to tell my friends. I waited weeks before telling my best friend and when I told her she said “I kind of guessed. Your beliefs and reactions always made me think that, but I didn’t want to influence you.” I soon worked up the nerves to tell more friends. I told my sister a month later and she has been so incredibly supportive. She tries to understand, asks questions and never judges. I haven’t told my parent and won’t for a while, but there is more cost than benefit to telling them right now. I also can’t work up the nerves to tell the two people in the whole world who are supposed to love me no matter what that I am so different from what they expect me to be. So sure, some don’t understand or tell me its not a real thing, but I know who I am. And ever since November 7th 2013, I have been happier and more confident than I have ever been. I know who I am and I know that I am not alone.

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