A Funny Thing Happened On the Way To Adulthood

Luna, 20, United States.

My parents are very open-minded people who had an incredibly liberal outlook on how to raise children. I was educated in the parts of the male and female body and how babies were made from a very early age, along with the typical reading and writing. I feel that it is a result of this early exposure that I have never felt awkward about sex, merely fascinated by the biological process. And my parents never had any qualms about what we discussed over dinner, so many family discussions revolved around sex and sexuality. Basically by the time I got to middle school I knew what was going to be happening to my body in terms of puberty and I was ready for these changes. I was ready for the mood swings, the growth spurts, and my sexual awakening, whatever orientation it might be.

Well, two outta three isn’t bad.

But I wasn’t too worried, I knew from my books that not everyone developed at the same pace, that everyone was different and I would get there in my own time. Other people around me already seemed to know their orientation, even if they were outside of the Big Three. Like this one guy, he identified as this thing called asexual. Well, I could roll with that, I mean it wasn’t so different from how I felt at the time. Sex? Meh. Dating? Ugh, do I have to socially interact? It’s so tiring.

By high school my outlook hadn’t changed too much, and I finally started to question. I joined my school’s GSA and started to meet people. After some self-examination, I decided that I wasn’t into men, but I wasn’t sure about women. I’ve always found the female body type more aesthetically pleasing than men, but I wasn’t sure if that equated to sexual attraction or not. With this in mind I began to cruise the internet. First stop: Wikipedia. Ok, this is promising. Next up, Google. That was when I found posts by asexuals about their experiences and issues and feelings and I knew I had found kindred spirits.

Now of course the tricky part was my friends and family. As I was about half-way through junior year, most of my friends had a very clear picture in their heads about who I was. For the most part I let it lie; if the opportunity presented itself I spoke up, but otherwise I kept quiet. I saw no need to be fiercely out when that may have disrupted relationships that I was perfectly happy with. My family was a different matter though. They knew, or had some idea that I wasn’t straight. My interest in LGBTA and my general lack of dates had been dead giveaways.

My brother was the first one I told, and he accepted it with a typical eye roll and a look that clearly said “whatever, you do your thing and I’ll do mine.” My mother was a little more sticky, she gave me the “late bloomer” line. I showed her the Wikipedia page and let her go from there. She must have told my dad because when I was finally able to bring it up in conversation with him he didn’t seem surprised.

I really hit the ground running in college though. This time I was solid in my identity, so all of my friends knew about my asexuality before midterms first semester. While this may not have been what 10 year old me was expecting when I thought about my future, I really wouldn’t have it any other way. This is the way things progressed, naturally, and I’d like to think that if this keeps up, everything will happen the way they’re supposed to. It’s worked so far.

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